OK HERE WE GO:
So this morning, I opened this birthday card thinking ooh dayum, look at dat hiddles, mother you have good taste in cards…
I opened the card, however, and lost all ability to talk.
It wasn’t from my Mum.
Turns out my mum wrote to him with this blank card and he wrote it for me!
I am so overwhelmed and grateful and oh my crumpets I cannot even…
Thank you, Tom, you wonderful person, you made my day an incredibly special one!
so this morning my dad said
“hey we got some tomatos”
and i walk into the kITCHEN AND THE ENTIRE TABLE WAS COMPLETELY COVERED IN TOMATOS LIKE DAD THAT IS NOT SOME TOMATOS THAT IS A FUCKLOAD OF TOMATOS
WHRE DID YOU EVEN GET ALL OF THESE TOMATOS
JUST IN CASE YOU FUCKERS THOUGH TI WAS JOKING
Are you fuckin kidding me right now
this is what the actors of supernatural do in their free time
IT’S ALMOST MIDNIGHT AND THERE WAS A KNOCK AT MY DOOR SO I CAUTIOUSLY OPENED THE DOOR THEN TWO DRUNKEN GUYS SHOUTED “SURPRISE” THEN LOOKED AT ME FOR A MOMENT AND WENT “FUCK WE’RE AT THE WRONG HOUSE” AND RAN AWAY DOWN THE STREET OH MY GOD
In art class my friend rolled himself in bubble wrap and stayed like that the whole day. When he sat down in our math class the teacher told him to take it off and he didn’t want to so he said “long live the king” and rolled out the door and down the hallway. And all you could hear was the faint popping of the bubblewrap as he rolled away. My teacher never went after him.
its always the math teacher who tells you you cant